Connection – God, Spirit and Grace by Beth Sowles
A couple of years before my dad passed away, he had gotten to the point that he wasn’t driving anymore and very dependent on friends and family.
Every weekend, I had what I called “Daddy Duty”. I would come out to his place every Friday night and stay with him until Sunday. Friday nights were always spent at the Legion for fish fries, Saturdays doing errands and sometimes Church on Sundays. I did this every weekend for about a year before I finally just moved in with him.
Now I wish I could say I did that with joy and grace. But the sad truth is, a lot of times I really resented it. I was giving up every weekend to come to him and do what he wanted. I never had a free weekend just for me. But I faithfully showed up each and every weekend.
I never truly understood why he always seemed to look forward to Friday night. If I was going to be late on Friday, I could hear the disappointment in his voice. And I hated the guilt I felt for not enjoying all those weekends. But he was always so happy to have me there with him.
I get it today. My own health is mostly sucky right now. I’m on chemo and have contracted an infection that is making me feel horrid.
So, now I’m the one who looks forward to those moments with friends. Every phone call, every visit – no matter how long or short – mean the world to me. Social media also helps me feel connected to many people. I have realized that while my health is failing me, I am feeling as though I’m the most blessed person ever. I have so many people who truly care about me. Check in on me and check up on me. That is what is important!
But even though I was going through those motions of taking care of my dad, my heart and spirit were not always there.
I found myself today asking for forgiveness for my lack of grace to this wonderful man, who clearly needed me, and looked forward to having me be there.
God showed my spirit today the connection of the “Daddy Duty” days and where I am now. I pray that I serve with more grace today.
Beth Sowles is a newbie writer from Michigan. She’s a reader, pianist, and a loyal friend. After years of reading other’s stories she’s ready to give voice to her own.