I Will Not Give Up by Kristi West

on Nov 3, 2017 in Blog | 7 comments

I attended my very first Breathe Writers Conference several weeks ago, and I’ll just say this:

It. Was. Fantastic.

I brought my daughter, and like a couple of dry sponges, we absorbed everything we possibly could. By the time that weekend was over, we were overflowing with information, ideas, and inspiration. Personally, I could not wait to get home to my computer. I just knew ideas and words would be pouring out of me so fast my fingers wouldn’t be able to keep up with them.

Then I got home.

Life came rushing in on me. There were bills to be paid, errands to be run, chores to be done. Not to mention, a family to be fed. Every day. Multiple times a day. (What’s up with that?)

And, suddenly, I realized I wasn’t writing. I would “write” in my head as I was doing something – anything – else, but those words were never making it to my computer screen, notebook, or even my journal. The overwhelming details of life started to weigh on me, and I couldn’t help but feel let down. So I sunk into a deep, dank funk that I’ve been struggling to climb out of ever since.

But I am struggling. My knees may be bruised, my knuckles may be bloodied, but that just proves that I haven’t given up. I’m still trying.

A lot of times it feels like I end up sliding back farther than I’ve climbed. But I keep on climbing.

Climb –

I made a commitment to participate in NaNoWriMo this month. I even told the ladies in my Sunday School class at church about it, and they agreed to pray for me and hold me accountable. (Can I just tell you how grateful I am for those ladies? They are simply wonderful.)

Slide –

I sat down with the notebook I got just to make notes and jot down ideas for that book, and I stared at its blank pages for far too long before giving in and getting up to do something else.

Climb –

I had an idea this morning, and I made myself stop for a minute and actually get it down.

Slide –

I argued with myself that that idea has been written before, by far better writers than me, so maybe I should just forget this whole thing and go do something useful, like build nests for homeless birds.

It’s a constant back-and-forth, climbing-and-sliding struggle, but I know I’m not alone. I’ve heard and read what others have to say about the ridiculous, crazy, wonderful cycle that makes up the writing life, and I start to think that, maybe, I’ll be able to do this, after all.

So, here I am. Writing a blog post. Thinking about the book I will write next month. Climbing one step more out of my funk.

I will not give up.

I. Am. A. Writer.

Kristi West is a wife, mom, crocheter, and voracious reader. She’s also a writer interested to see where her words might take her.

    7 Comments

  1. Kristi, I’m about to dive into my writing today and I feel all of these words you shared. Please don’t give up. You have a gift. Your words give life and reveal a passionate heart. We need more of that in this world.

    SusieFinkbeiner

    November 3, 2017

    • Thank you, Susie. I’m having a bit of a “Slide” morning, but I’m pushing through. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. 🙂

      Kristi West

      November 3, 2017

  2. Kristi,
    Your words ringing truer and more honest than you know for many of us. New and veteran writers alike. Thanks for putting voice to them. Keep up the good work and climb a little higher! (PS – I’m sharing. Your words are needed.)

    Cathy Rueter

    November 3, 2017

    • I so love this community we have! It touches my heart to see how we can encourage each other, spurring one another on to good works.

      SusieFinkbeiner

      November 3, 2017

    • Thank you so much, Cathy. There are definitely days when I feel like I’m alone in this sea of “real writers.” Not that I want anyone else to struggle, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one.

      Kristi West

      November 3, 2017

  3. “I would “write” in my head as I was doing something.”

    Yup! I’ve written award-winning tomes as I clean house, drive in the car, or drift off to sleep. But let me sit down at my computer, and I got nothin’.

    Keep climbing. And when you feel like you’re sliding, stick your arm out. You’re bound to catch it on one of us who is also sliding at the same time, and together we might just climb even higher.

    Peace.

    Patricia Alderman

    November 3, 2017

  4. How very true: Climb, Slide, Climb, Slide. You are NOT ALONE, my friend. We all have felt that way at times – more often than not I feel myself sliding. You are an inspiration and encouragement to me to keep on keeping on.

    I. Am. A. Writer. Thank you for your transparency.

    Teresa K. Lasher

    teresa lasher

    November 4, 2017

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