My Father’s Voice by Mary Rozendal
“When I grow up, I want to be a writer.” I’ve been saying this for years.
But I’ve never heard God’s voice speaking to me, telling me to write. Sometimes I even wonder if I’ve imagined His call. Even as I type this, I’m thinking, what am I doing? Maybe I’m just being prideful and wanting to be in the spotlight for a while. Am I really writing because I feel called by God to do it? If I were called by God, wouldn’t the words just spill out of my fingertips onto the keyboard?
But so many times, I sit looking at my laptop screen and struggle to find the words to write. I’ll type and then delete. Type and then delete. If God is really calling me, wouldn’t I have this overwhelming feeling of confidence in what I have to say? But I don’t. Not even close.
And yet, along the way, there have been nudges, whispers, and gentle pushes to write. Every once in awhile, I get an IDEA. You know, the kind of thing that keeps tickling your brain, that sneaks into your thoughts when least expected, that wants to get out and be heard. And there have been those conversations with friends or family members, when they ask me if I have been writing or encourage me to keep on. Those conversations seem to come “coincidentally” close to each other, as if falling on one another like dominoes in a line, tipping over to set me in motion.
And then there are the small victories, the YES moments, the acceptance emails and letters that make me think that maybe I have something to offer — to others, to God.
So maybe God’s call to write is not a booming voice over the loudspeaker of my soul. Instead, it’s more like the quiet voice of a parent, waking a child from sleep, telling me that my words have value and that what I have to say matters.
And so, I write. I’m not sure that I’m a writer yet because that would mean that I’ve grown up, and I still feel so inadequate. But I’m getting there, listening to my Father’s voice as He awakens me, and responding by His grace and for His glory.
Mary Rozendal is a wife, mother, teacher, and a writer who is working at listening to her Father’s voice. She is currently working on a middle grades novel and has written a story that she hopes will someday be published as a picture book. She lives in Holland, Michigan, and loves to spend her time reading and also traveling with her husband and two children.